How to Become Unoffendable and Forgiving: A Biblical Guide

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Moments that test our capacity to remain calm and unoffended in the face of criticism, disagreements, and hostility fill our days. In a world quick to take offense, what does it mean to become unoffendable, especially from a biblical standpoint? More importantly, how can we achieve such a state and find forgiveness in our hearts for those who wrong us? 

Understanding Offense from a Biblical Perspective 

Offense occurs when we feel personally attacked by someone else’s words or actions. The Bible, however, presents a more profound truth about offense: it’s often a choice rather than an involuntary response. Proverbs 19:11 (NIV) states, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” 

From a Christian perspective, to be unoffendable is not about diminishing valid feelings or excusing harmful actions. Instead, it’s about choosing to respond differently—to be grounded in love and forgiveness, mirroring the example set by Jesus Christ. 

How to Become Unoffendable 

See Others as God Sees Them: God created everyone in His own image. Remembering that can change how we regard those who might offend us. It’s like wearing “Jesus glasses” to foster empathy and dial back any offense we might feel. 

Use Discernment and Intercession, Not Fault-Finding: Interpreting others’ actions through a lens of discernment and lifting them in prayer often reveals the hurt or misunderstanding fueling their behavior, which can help us become more and more unoffendable. 

Guard Your Heart with the Peace of Christ: Philippians 4:7 talks about the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guarding our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. This peace acts as a buffer against offense, providing a sense of calm and security even in potentially aggravating situations. Our conscious effort to pursue and hold onto peace through prayer and meditation on God’s Word, prepares us to handle tough situations without getting offended. 

Tips for Not Taking Offense 

• Pause Before Reacting: In moments of potential offense, take a deep breath and choose a response that aligns with the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). 
• Seek Understanding: Try to grasp the context or reasons behind actions or words that could be offensive. Often, there’s more beneath the surface. 
• Cultivate Gratitude: Practice gratitude daily. Focus on the blessings in your life to blunt the impact of offense; shift your perspective toward the positive. 
• Set Healthy Boundaries: Know when and how to set boundaries that protect your peace and well-being. Doing so is not an act of selfishness but of wisdom. 
• Engage in Regular Self-Reflection: Spend time with God in prayer and reflection, examining your own heart for areas where you may be susceptible to taking offense. This will help cultivate a heart of humility and patience. 
• Practice Forgiveness: Continually choose to forgive, asking God to help you release any bitterness or resentment holding you captive. 

Finding Forgiveness: The Key to Becoming Unoffendable

People often link forgiveness with becoming unoffendable. Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

Scriptural Examples of Forgiveness 

• Jesus on the Cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NIV). 
• Joseph and His Brothers: Joseph forgave his brothers for selling him into slavery, recognizing God’s sovereignty in his circumstances (Genesis 45). 
• The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant: Jesus teaches the importance of forgiving others as we have been forgiven by God (Matthew 18:21-35). 
• Stephen’s Martyrdom: Even as he faced death, Stephen prayed for his persecutors’ to be forgiven (Acts 7:60). 

Listen now to a short segment of this Abide meditation based on Matthew 18:21-22. Let God speak to your heart about forgiveness.

Biblical teaching anchor our learning about how to become unoffendable. It invites us into a life marked by peace, love, and forgiveness. It challenges us to see beyond our immediate reactions and align our hearts with God’s. Let Abide help you in this process. Download the app and start a premium subscription. This will give you access to our entire library of 1500+ guided meditations, more than 400 Bible-based sleep stories, and more. Use this link to get 25% off.